Long time no post, but I have an excuse. Been gone most of the time and on the rare occasions I actually was home, I always forgot….goldfish memory, I know.
Didn’t have time for almost anything these weeks, being the horrid exam period over here, and as any respectful student, I left everything on these last couple of days, so I’m drowning in courses as we speak. I don’t think there is a person in this world that enjoys this time, and if he/she exists, then that person must have a couple of screws loose from where they belong.
It’s a long freaking period that seems neverending, and I’m tired, both phisically and mentally, of everything. I’m tired of people complaining, I’m tired of staying up almost the whole fucking night so that I can sleep a couple of hours and then go back to studying again, I’m tired of not being able to sleep in those couple of hours I lay down, I’m tired of crying, so yeah basically I’m just tired of everything, but most of all I’m tired of feeling lonely.
Yeah, I’m a masochistic little person but I can’t help it. There’s just too much botteling up inside me, I’m stressed and scared and I can’t tell anyone because from one I’ll end up with a witty remark and from the other I’ll end up with an explanation that wouldn’t even drive my scare away. I just want this period to be over so I can get back to my random life of the random shadow person that I am….I miss him a whole fucking lot, I miss even talking to him which has been so little in these past weeks, I can’t wait for him to get home so that we can talk even one bit, but then it’s like he’s not even there. I just wanna lay down and preferably never wake up if I have to surpress this feeling for much longer.